I really don't understand God sometimes. Sometimes my plan looks so much better, makes so much more sense. Sometimes he completely confuses me and I feel that my whole world is turned upside down. Sometimes I even get frustrated thinking of the missed opportunities or hardships that have happened because he chose to do things the way he did. I don't get why babies die and mother's arms are left aching with emptiness or why children are left mother/fatherless just when they need them most. I don't understand why people get cancer and they and their families are made to suffer such physical and emotional pain. Why are children born into abusive homes and made to suffer while loving homes are left barren and childless? I cannot understand why he allows innocent young girls to be molested by sick twisted men. It doesn't make sense that lives can be snuffed out so suddenly in automobile accidents or why he allows heart attacks to take the ones we love. I don't understand God sometimes. I don't understand him in the hard times, in the lonely times...the times when it seems all the world has run away and no one cares about our pain. Neither do I understand when it seems all the world is chasing me...allowing no time to relax or catch my breath. I confuses me when the ones who said they loved me are the ones who hurt me the most and leave my heart tore open. I don't understand why he doesn't answer the prayers I pray the way I want him to. I am scared by the uncertainties of this world. I want safety and security for my children, and instead all I hear is of wars and rumors of wars. I don't understand why he allows babies to be murdered before they even have a chance to cry or why they are left struggling in the trash bins of abortion clinics. It hurts to see young people confused and hurt by inconsistent hypocritical people who all the while claim the highest state of grace. I don't understand why he doesn't return before more souls are hurt or lost and yet the thoughts of his returning frightens me when I consider my lost loved ones and friends. I could go on and on all day listing the things I don't understand about God and to be honest that is what I was doing (with a respectful prayerful attitude) as I went about my duties today. And then God spoke to me in a very simple way. When I was doing laundry, I found one of these......
I don't suppose that they understood everything about God during the civil war either, but they looked to him to hold our union together then and we can trust him now as well. Our founding fathers began working then to have a religious motto inscribed on our currency and it showed up there a few times but didn't become official until around 1950. From that time until now, 'In God we Trust' has been placed on all our currency to be a daily reminder to Americans that God is the true source of our sustainance. We are successful only so long as our trust is in him. Thank you for the reminder God. It's true, I don't always understand and I'm not going to claim to be to super-spiritual as to say that I do. I know you are there though. I sense you in the quiet times, when my heart sings in spite of the storm. I hear you in the speaking rain and your bow in the sky reminds me that you have a purpose for all that you do. You calm me with a darkened heaven dressed only in the beauty of the stars. These are the precious times, the worship times, when you are nearer to me than I am to me. You comfort me with your presense and the flowers of the field. You brighten my day through the smiles of a little child. Your word is precious to me. I don't have to understand you to know that you live...to know that you live within, to know that you gave your all to redeem me and are just now preparing a better place for all those who place their trust in you! I know that you love me and have a plan that is best for me, and that is enough.
For I know the plans I have concerning you. Not of trouble, but of peace. To give you fulfillment. Jeremiah 29:11 paraphrase
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2 comments:
I thought it was VERY interesting we were thinking about the same thing today. I am so with you on all you have listed here. I am so glad we know the one who know the end from the beginning.
My mind, too, has been wondering why so many bad things are happening to so many good people lately, but I keep hearing the song in my head, "God is too wise to be mistaken, God is too good to be unkind, when you don't understand, when you can't see His plan, when you can't trace His hand, Trust His Heart." So glad we can trust when we don't understand! Great thoughts - thanks for writing.
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