What "Morning Sickness" means to me.

Disclaimer: This may be a bit too descriptive for some stomachs. This is written for those of you who simply don't get morning sickness...maybe it will explain a few things. Some of you, I know will totally understand.

Morning Sickness. The while term makes me cringe. It's such a misnomer. I'd love to have 'morning sickness'. Unfortionately, I am one of those lucky ladies who gets morning sickness morning, noon and night. There are several theories on morning sickness, but no one really knows for sure what causes it and why some gals suffer and others don't.  For me, it starts pretty much right away--usually about week five or six. With my first baby, it was my first clue. With #2, it didn't strike until about week 8 I think. I had lunch with my Grandma--cottage cheese salad and BAM! It hit me upside the head out of nowhere. I was sick with her from then until about week 18! With #3, again it was my first clue. #4, I knew for a few days before it struck and #5, I knew for maybe a week. It's funny, because I hardly remember at all being sick with #5 (although I know I was). I had just recovered from a miscarriage and was so thankful to be expecting that I almost welcomed it. Almost. =)

This time, it was again my first clue. Honestly, I didn't feel ready for it. I was so ill last fall and so thankful to be feeling better that I was just reveling in feeling good. Of course, I am a mommy at heart and it really didn't take long for excitement to strike.

Anyway....back to the morning sickness. It's violent! Unmedicated, it is nothing to vomit 20-30 times a day. Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING stays down. I gag when I brush my teeth, I gag when I see food, I gag when I smell something, I gag when I yawn, I gag when my husband kisses me. My senses seem extremely heightened. For example, if I pour ginger ale out of an aluminum can into a glass, I can smell aluminum on my hand and have to go wash it or I will gag. Sometimes the smell of the soap makes me gag as well, so there you go! In my first pregnancy, I lost about 15 pounds in the first month. Starting out at barely 100, I didn't have much to lose back then. I tore my esophogas from retching so much. They pretty quickly figured out that I was going to have to have some meds or I'd be in the hospital on IV's pretty much all the time. I spent enough time there as it was.

Over time and with experience, I've figured out the things I have to do to cope. I really have a couple of choices:

#1. Unmedicated. I can focus on keeping fluids down and spend my time on and off IV's. The benefit of this is that I gain very little to no weight in the first trimester and of course, being unmedicated has it's benefits. The bad part is that I risk constant dehydration (dangerous to the baby) and further esophogesical damage.

#2. I can take the medication and carefully watch the clock, eating every 2 hours. The medication is pretty much proven safe, but it only works to help control the "gag reflex" a little, meaning I still feel badly and like I need to vomit but usually can't. When I do, it us usually dry heaves or stomach acid from a stomach that I let get "empty." (Meaning I went too long without eating. It is very hard to make yourself eat when you don't feel well. Also, I have found that the things I am hungry for--good things--like fresh fruits and veggies don't stay down as well as carbs. I know....it's a real losing battle and hard for some people to understand. Why is she gaining so much weight if she's so sick? Well, that's why. The medication makes me very sleepy on top of being tired already and so we add inactivity and all of its drawbacks to the mix.

So far, I have been pretty fortunate and the weight comes of quickly and easily after delivery, but....I always worry. I'm not getting any younger and this is pregnancy #6. The good thing is that somewhere between weeks 14 and 16 I start feeling better and can eat better. I figure we have about 4-6 more weeks of feeling like this. It's already old, but like I said....I smile while I retch because feeling this bad means something really good is coming! =)